Communicating with your Partner

Updated: May 22, 2020

For many couples the various issues that cause stress in a marriage or relationship, can begin to take a toll. Often, couples may consider divorce as the only viable solution. However, it may also be that this is not what they would ideally want but they just can't see light at the end of the tunnel.


Arguments ode to stress can become the main means of communication between couples and often take the form of a blame game. If couples are unable to truly communicate without arguing, the relationship becomes tainted with misery. And when this happens, each partner may begin to look at the relationship as the source of their unhappiness. Of course this can lead to divorce or simply create a hostile and unhappy environment at home. Certainly, such an environment is not ideal for raising children and can have a long-lasting impact on their lives as their young, impressionable, developing characters become directly affected. So, in some instances divorce may indeed be the best course of action to follow in order to resolve the problem (if two people are just not good for each other). On the other hand, divorce has its own impact on children (and the family as a whole) and must be very carefuly thought through before taking any such action.


Quite often, the true problem is a matter of clashing egos, whereby one or neither of the partners are willing to identify their own personal issues that contribute to the overall problem. When this happens you may have two individuals that could potentially share a healthy and even happy relationship but are simply unable to identify the problem (or problems) so as to address them effectively. This is especially true once a sense of happiness has been forgotten to a long-winded turbulence in the relationship. Being overwhelmed by the added pressures of life can have a serious impact on the intimacy and communication between two people. As a result, instead of communicating with kindness and understanding towards one another, they interact with hostility poisoning their own well-being and that of each other.


If this sounds familiar, then before considering separation or divorce, watch this incredible video that is based on a research that studied numerous couples over years to identify the characteristics of people who had successful relationships, with those who had unhappy relationships but remained together and those who divorced or separated. In very brief, they essential key that differs is that of conflict management. In other words, different people deal with conflict in different ways resulting in different outcomes and levels of happiness or unhappiness.


It is only 40 minutes long and I promise that anyone who watches this (and is honestly looking to resolve their relationship problems) will be able to identify weaknesses and strengths of theirs and of their partners. I strongly suggest that couples (especially those with children) who are actively trying to save their marriage (or who at least genuinely wish to give it a chance) should watch this together: